Thank you for visiting, I hope you will find this blog of my journey both interesting and inspiring.

Thursday, 9 August 2012


Pick a card.

"Your recent scan shows a new tumour. Go home and wait, do not pass go, do not have chemo, do not collect £200!"

We spent over two hours waiting at Addenbrookes on Tuesday, an hour of which was alone in a clinic room. Eventually the doctor and supporting nurse arrived and asked how I was feeling. Much better I replied. Pause. Ok so the scan... It is... Well there are some positives, there is no huge growth anywhere and your lungs are stable. Other tumours show small changes different ways in different areas, however there is a new tumour, still very small, in a lymph node next to your aorta. (The aorta being the largest and most major artery in the human body.)

In short this will be discussed at their next full meeting at the end of the month. In the meantime I won't receive any further treatment until they can reach a decision. So here I am back home, not feeling spectacularly well. Part of my mind is wondering why I do not feel better if I have not had to endure being poisoned this week, but alas we know that the mind has an incredibly potent effect on our bodies. I knew at some point this treatment would cease to be useful but in truth I did not think it would be this soon. I am disconcerted and disillusioned by the order to go home and wait followed by the enquiry as to whether I am still in contact with my palliative (end of life) care team. I assured them I was although in fact I haven't seen them for ages. I have been to busy living: just as well really.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry you have received this news. You must be very scared . Its going to very difficult all this waiting until you see the professionals again, I hope you find the strength to live exactly like you have been doing and carry on pushing the dark thoughts away. Easy for me to say I know as it's not happening to me. I will continue to ask that your health improves massively and that your heart and head is filled with joy. Bless you, you wonderful woman.