Most of the time our lives have become centred around my illness, with numerous appointments, my fatigue and the no less than 22 tablets I take a day (sometimes thats as many as 34!) but this week things took a turn. My husband has been very ill for the last three days, so much so that I called 999 in the middle of the night because I was so worried about him, I stayed up all that night to watch him. Don't worry he is getting better now slowly but surely.
The next day I managed to cover the basic chores with the help of my cousin who brought round some Calpol. I thought this would be easier for my husband to take. Then I spent the rest of that day asleep in a beanbag waking every so often to take my medications, or to encourage my husband to take his or to try and sip some fluids. As the title says its an interesting form of nursing to sleep when the patient does. I think that all three of us; myself, my husband and the dog were asleep on the sofa bed in the spare room for pretty much most of the following twenty four hours.
Over the next few days he gets a little better but I still do the majority of the day to day things; not as much as he usually does but enough so the house does not fall into complete disarray. This means I truly understand just how much he does and I also realise that some of my recent fatigue is due to despondency. Not all, it is definitely real and sometimes takes the legs out from under me but I do find a little more lease of life from the responsibility. I don't want my husband to be ill but I have gained some insight and that is that even us sickies need purpose and that I have been lacking it these past few weeks. I will be looking to find a little purpose and maybe that will go hand in hand with some welcome distraction in the coming week.
Xx
Just read the article on Cosmo mag,I found out Im HIV +,June 2010,I was soo careful,until the man I knew maybe the one and I got positive,I just wanted to end my life,dis not want to be here in this world,my zest for life gone,my job is going away a lot,soo that keeps me going,once back home,I'm in that mood and look forward going away again.I'm not on medication just yet,which I'm grateful,I'm coping ok,knowing once I start the medication,I will be really low again and wounder how I will cope,that's maybe one or tablets everyday,when you got over 30 tablets and chemo,how u do it?,I soo admire you,you don't know when is the time and u living your life to the full,and I got a lifetime(hopefully) and I'm wasting my time away feeling sorry for myself and what the future holds,I'm consently feeling low,my head is sore of worries,how will I be positive?
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