Thank you for visiting, I hope you will find this blog of my journey both interesting and inspiring.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012


At the moment I spend a lot of my time asleep. Frequently I have nightmares; not quite what you'd expect, they usually come down to my usual type of worries... maybe your everyday type worries too. However more and more I dream of travelling, of foreign places I'll never see. Maybe this is a form of running away that my mind provides; an escape. As the chemo and the reality of my imminent dimise hits harder, I slip into a denial of life and at times a dark cloud of depression. I don't enjoy eating and feel little interest in things. Of course I have my lighter moments, times I am distracted, but I worry these are becoming fewer.

And so I dream; all the things I want to do and want to see. They range from the tangible dreams of the happiness of friends and family and of the future I expected to have, to the outlandish, of walking the Inca trail with the ease of a local, climbing the three peaks in record times, of travelling Route 66 in an old style Cadillac just for the hell of it. Of pioneering Imagine It to be a famous organise, one that people talk about, listen to and that changes lives.

Whilst I am dreaming I am happy but that comes with the price of waking up, of knowing it was all a dream and in that moment I prefer the nightmares. In the long term dreaming does not benefit me, I have to face up to the fact that I have cancer and it is not going away. Each moment I have is indescribably precious and I must treasure, savour everything blessing. I found that hard before, when I had little to complain over and yet now when it is more difficult I must try even harder to see the light through the clouds.


  1. You inspire me, I know that you are scared but you always manage to display the other side!

    You make me realise that life is short (even when there is no illness) people come and sometimes have to leave early - we need to be glad that those people turned up in the first place. your courage is outstanding, please keep trying to see the light through the clouds!! xxx

  2. Just a little thought to you from me with all my loves and hugs "determination is often the first chapter in the book of excellence".

  3. Thank you both. Megz your now quoted on Imagine It Vcx

  4. You are truly an inspiration! I've just read your letter in Cosmo and cried! You have inspired me to do more with my life! My mum had cancer and died years ago when I was 14. God only takes the angels he wants back! Be strong and know that your family love you,
    All my love, Hannah xxxx

  5. So truly honest,you have touched so many people life's and they will have been made richer by that touch. Richer in a way that money cannot buy so thank you for making me stop and think "live,laugh and Love" Everyday in Every-way xx

  6. I also read your letter in Cosmo, you really made me realise how much I take for granted in my life and I am ashamed of how depressed I can feel when I realise how little I suffer really. Thank you for sharing your story xxx

  7. I also read your letter in Cosmo. Well done for being so brave and thank you for sharing your story. You are an amazing person! xx