It's going to be another long one today and I'm groggy when I wake. I wish in retrospect I had gone for a walk like yesterday especially when (as per) I don't even get into the suite until much later than I'm told to arrive, but it takes me time to get going today. When we do get in I have to ask for a bed, I know I will need it even if the nurse hasn't thought that far ahead. Have to say the member of staff doesn't endure themselves to me further by shoving a deeply uncomfortable needle into my hand just below the knuckle of my index finger on my left hand and I have to repeat several times that it hurts even though I feel like a wimp. I was right though as using a different vein might not be pleasant but it doesn't sting and I can say the original site is still blue and bruised several days later. Hmm great start to the day!
Staying as positive as I can I go through the same regime of Cisplatin and Etopocide for around seven hours but today seems longer; much longer! I am not a lie still kind of person and I'm bored as well as starting to feel a little disconnected. My lovely friend Claire; a complete force of nature comes to visit in the afternoon and we have a catch up but I end up feeling guilty as I am aware my concentration on the conversation is a little awry and I may have asked the same questions more than once. Generally I am tolerating all this poison well but I think added to the general stress and unbalanced feeling of being trapped here means I am feeling quite drained and depressed by late afternoon.
It's around half past four when we escape and really we can't leave fast enough. I have so many pills to take with me I swear if you shake me I will rattle but I am going home! I need to repeat that for emphasis... I AM GOING HOME!!!!!! The drive takes a whole 2 hours at rush hour but getting back is heavenly. I don't remember much of the evening if I'm honest now but I know I will have waited to take my late night dose and slept. Oh the comfort of our bed!!
The next morning I wake early, take my doses of four different drugs and immediately go back to sleep for a couple of hours. We are Toast free as he will be returning from his holiday at his Grandma's later this morning and whilst we have missed the little monster it is lovely to have this quiet morning time together. We even go for a little walk in the morning air. I am convinced with so many toxins in my system the best things I can do for the next couple of days is drink water, sleep and move when I am not sleeping to help my body process everything. So that's exactly what I do! In fact am doing.
The fatigue is slowly wearing off, though I am sticking to a regime of sleeping for at least a couple of hours in the afternoon, and it is getting better. I don't plan this to keep me down long. I know I am strong enough if I just allow my body to fight that chemo won't take all that much life from me.