A long haul day. I slept fairly solidly until about four or five am but was awake before my six thirty alarm to take my first set of drugs. D however has spent the night on the floor and I feel hugely guilty over this and try to cover him with the fleece throw from the bed not realising there is a book on top which I tip over him waking him up! Oops.
Realising I am not going to sleep anymore I persuade him to take the bed and go for a quiet walk around the hospital grounds. Not particularly scenic I grant you but I know today I will be spending virtually all day on a drip and relish the bracing walk in the cold sunshine no matter what the view!
We have to be at the chemo suite for nine today, and after the usual wait I am offered a bed. I accept although last time I was in a hospital bed was August 2010 after my operation and I couldn't get out of it fast enough. I hate feeling vulnerable. D is perched by my side on an uncomfy looking chair, on guard!
First up is some more pills: anti-emetic ondansetron and two "water pills" as the chemo drug of choice today is Cisplatin and this one can do all sorts of badness if not flushed through so as well as IV fluids I have these pills to make me pee. The ever more glamorous part of this is that every time I pee I have to measure the amount and fill in a chart so the staff can keep tabs on how I'm doing. I tell you it is not easy negotiating a busy suite with a IV pump backwards and forwards to the toilets half a dozen time in a couple of hours, using the scales and either not tripping over someone or becoming entangled. I am warned by one serious nurse if the line in my hand comes out of the vein and the drug goes into the surrounding tissue I'm going to be in a lot of pain; I'm not willing to test her theory.
In the morning I am visited by a dietitian - we had to request it, like everything it seems- and this is a little ironic as I had to give up on my dream to train in this field but we get to ask about nutrition and what we should and shouldn't be doing to keep me going strong. Seems the answer is pretty much the same as we're doing so kudos for us! The only thing she could suggest is making sure I have enough calcium for my bones as I don't really eat much dairy anymore.
By lunch I am feeling the fatigue and the lunch provided can at best be described as uninspiring, actually it's a dried out microwave meal I can only force half down. By now I'm feeling quite rubbish and its making me cranky. So much so that while I don't really eat much and D eats nothing as he doesn't want to leave me alone in such a state.
In the afternoon its a change to Estoposide chemo and I am cheered by coffee and biscuits while D distracts me by teaching me to play gin rummy. A game I manage to lose spectacularly despite having what turns out the winning hand even tho its my first go this a little shaming. Later he starts to read to me and I promptly fall asleep. Fatigue it seems is catching up with me!!!!