Up and about early this morning after what was a rather disturbed night of sleep. I felt on edge with a mind that was on the go throughout the night. D and I shared the single bed which wasn't a huge issue considering how close we are but last night was definitely a contrast to our kingside memory foam mattress back at home!
We are to be in the chemo suite for 09:30 this morning but on arrival just before that time we stroll through the door only to be told the suite doesn't open till 09:30 and can we wait in the clinic waiting area. This isn't particularly an issue but it's another wait and it adds to just how daunting this can feel, each second seems so much longer than usual. I am called in by a cheerful nurse and I guess it's time for my second day of 'treatment' to begin. Today I'm being introduced to Etopocide which will take longer to infuse than yesterday's session - about three hours in all. D and I go though and set up camp in a chair while the formalities of anti emetics and getting the IV line put in are completed (It was so less painful today in comparison to yesterday's!). There was gentle banter and chit chat between me, D and the nurse although less so me as I feel distracted by an underlying feeling of pointlessness.... No one here seems to know this won't work.... It's a hopeless exercise and so the cheerful banter seems so false.
The session itself goes relatively quickly and I felt ok in myself so on the advice of the nurse D and I went over to the Wallace Centre; a charity set up to support cancer patients and their families. Not sure what to expect but we were pleasantly surprised to find a house, which has a very calm and serene atmosphere. It's a haven from the hustle of hospital and I wish I'd known it was here before. Unfortunately we can't stay long as I have drugs to take at a certain time with food so we dive back into the melee of the main concourse for some lunch. By the time we are done with the disappointing food I am feeling tired and stressed so we head back to our box ... I mean hostel room and I pass out for a couple of hours.
Later D wakes me and apart from a little groggy I feel fine. So we take a twenty minute stroll from the hospital to a little area of Cambridge with the intention of seeing a film at the cinema. I'm losing my edge though as I read the times wrong much to my massive frustration - I hate the fact my cognitive function is going awry! We end up having dinner in a Frankies and Bennies before strolling back and watching a film in our room instead. Time is flying really and apart from the fatigue I am sure is massively contributed to by the stress of being here, I don't feel like I'm being pumped full of poison; but I suppose it is only day two!!