Today has been a weird one, and a long one. We have traveled back to my parents, had our dress rehearsal had pictures taken by a professional photographer and checked out the final venue decor. Its been a long long day full of decisions and another without a rest. Don't get me wrong its a fantastic moment to be treasure but at 10pm a calm has settled akin to one after a storm yet knowing the real thing is yet to come. As tomorrow D and I are getting married.
I sit with my sister watching a rubbish film on tv with face packs and cold tea bags on our eyes; one last attempt at making ourselves look 'bright-eyed and bushy tailed' for the big day. I haven't seen D since about 6 when he left the wedding reception venue. Our last night apart; it has a bizarre euphoria to it. I'm exhausted but in no way interested in sleep and it is long after everyone else when I do finally get to bed. All the hard work of preparation has been done the only thing to rely on is me and D getting it right on the day,.. and that all my hair, makeup and dress come together perfectly as there has been no true rehearsal.
I'm not nervous, not confused, just.... well lonely is about the only feeling of the many I can name. When I do go to bed it is alone for the first time in months and for the last time. Something to be savoured? Or some weird echo on an ancient practice when brides and grooms didn't even know each other let alone had bonded in the way we have. It's cold and the bed at my parents that once I languished in is now far too big.
The big rush will start in a matter of hours and then things will never be the same. I will officially be married, be Mrs Cornish; that is a good thing, an exciting thing and an extraordinary calming thing. Tomorrow is the big day!