There is a saying "if life throws you a curve ball, hit it out of the park!"
I stayed up late watching a movie, deliberately stayed in bed with my eyes tightly shut until gone ten. All the time my mind is asking over and over what to make of it all. If the decision is there do I proceed with chemo? If it is not there, how do I feel about that?
In the end I get up acknowledging that today is not the end, it is just an unveiling of the next step. Whatever happens I must stay calm and think about it rationally and most importantly of all I must, must take full advantage of a week not spent in hospital!!!